There can only be one…
By which I mean, it’s unusual that there is more than one of the brand-name hotel I check into in any given metropolis (like Hong Kong).
OK, so the Four Seasons Hong Kong offers all kinds of complimentary perks, but I want to know the details – like are the masseuse’s hands big enough. Of course the Rome Hotel in Berlin is luxurious, but does the staff change out every 12 hours?
Here are just a couple of points in checklist form – this is what you need to know if you want to feel like you’re being taken care of and not just put up:
- Private Concierge/Butler – there’s nothing more annoying than having to deal with constantly-changing personnel.
- Complete Silence – It is SO annoying when the AC or the Minibar makes noise. That’s a killer-criteria for me – I need it quiet in my room.
- Pool temperature should be less than 21 degrees Celsius… I want a swim in the mornings, not a warm bath. The WORST is when the pool is less than 15 meters – I’m 1 meter 90… so why would I even bother getting into a 15-meter-long pool?
- Brand name soap… I let two things touch my skin: water, and quality soaps. Please, no cheap Chinese imports.
- A decent level of exclusivity amongst the other guests, please. Watch out for luxury hotels which offer package deals to common tourists. That’s always unpleasant. You want hotels where you can network and rely on your network to stay exclusive.
- Masseuses with really small hands… I’m not kidding, it creeps me out. I can’t help but think of them as some kind of Asian forced laborers.
- High-end Stereo System – Bang & Olufsen at a minimum. It needs a jack for my iPhone 3GS. And I need an integrated marble shower – not some clunky tub. A decent sink design is necessary, too.
I’ve been in basically all the cities worth going to in the world, and I can tell you from experience it’s not so easy to find a place with just a passable level of class. I mean, is it possible to see it any other way? I don’t think so, do you?
P.S. Don’t forget, you’ll want a hotel with a decent limo service – by which I mean a long Mercedes S-Class or higher. There is one hotel in Dubai where they get it right: the Burj Al Arab. If you’re looking for an excellent butler, I mean they have one. He’s London old-school – they just don’t make them like they used to.
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